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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634444">It's Hard Just Telling You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadTardis/pseuds/BigBadTardis'>BigBadTardis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Feelings, No Smut, Post-Episode: s01e06 Dalek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:21:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadTardis/pseuds/BigBadTardis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and the Doctor deal with their feelings after the Dalek and Adam Mitchell can't take a hint</p><p> </p><p>(goes AU from Dalek)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's Hard Just Telling You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cattivorosa/gifts">Cattivorosa</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy late birthday Meghan! I am so sorry this took so long. But it's here! I hope you like it!</p><p>This fic was beta'd by Elleras on Tumblr. I forgot if her name had changed on AO3 lol. </p><p>And wlwbadwolf on Tumblr helped me with the title. Which is a Billie Piper lyric from "something deep inside" </p><p>So all the Boomtown Babes were a part of this fic! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rose tried to run, she tried to run as fast as she could. The Dalek was coming and the doors were closing. Adam was faster than her and she watched helplessly as Adam rolled under the doors, leaving her behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rose?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The Doctor asked. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Did you make it?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> His voice was so hopeful. Rose hated to let him down. She tried to push past the lump in her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I was a bit slow.” Her heart shook in her chest, vibrating at an uncomfortable speed. “It wasn’t your fault, yeah.” Rose breathed out. “Y-you have to know this wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you.” She remembered how slow the Dalek moved. It didn’t even think she was a threat. That made it worse, Rose thought. It was like she was a bug the Dalek was waiting to step on. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” She saw the shadow of the Dalek coming forth from the hall. She found she couldn’t move her feet. If only the Dalek wasn’t able to rotate, then she would’ve had a chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was dead. Resigned to her fate, she let out her final thought so she didn’t have any regrets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, if it’s my last chance to say it,” she said shakily as the Dalek steadily approached her. A pit formed in her stomach. She wouldn’t make it to 26. “I-I love you,” she got out. “And I don’t regret it. Not one bit. I’ll never regret it.” And she turned to the Dalek and faced her death with pride. She dropped her phone to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>EXTERMINATE</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose shot up. The events of the day weighed on her. The Doctor hadn’t responded to her or even acknowledged that it happened, which she couldn’t decide if she was grateful for or disappointed. She sighed and flipped the comforter off her legs and set over to the galley. She needed something in her stomach, whether it was food, water, or a drink. She had no preference over anything. She would eat the first thing she set her eyes on. Her legs knew their purpose, even though the purpose was a midnight snack they considered it the same priority as stalking around a market. Rose pulled open the door. Her eyes scanned the room, ravenous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, the first thing she set her eyes on wasn’t food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Adam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly her hunger was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose rolled her eyes and was grateful for the darkness of the galley. She wanted him to see the stars because she felt bad about accidentally killing his coworkers, but he also was a bit of a show-off, and Rose only liked one specific show-off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Rose,” he said, after opening the fridge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Adam,” she said. Not unkindly, but not gentle either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sorry about today,” he said, picking up some food that Rose had purchased for herself. He opened the container of yogurt and sniffed it. It was apparently to his taste and he took it out of the fridge. He didn’t look very sorry, but Rose was willing to ignore it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it was a rough day for all of us.” She walked over to the cabinets and pulled out an apple. She bit into it without washing, the TARDIS wouldn’t let the fruit be dirty. It was a honey crisp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think,” Adam said. He stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Rose asked, taking another bite. Adam looked a little shy. What for? She thought. “You can tell me, Adam. I’ve seen a lot. I won’t judge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you want to come back to my room with me?” He got out kind of fast, very nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose’s eyes widened and she dropped her apple onto the floor. It rolled out of reach and Rose didn’t see where it went. She turned her back away from the door and faced Adam. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” He asked, almost indignant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you hear?” Rose asked confused. “I’m in love with the Doctor.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Adam’s eyes were wide and his face was red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told him and everything. I’m sorry, I've got no interest in you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t? Then why did you invite me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose narrowed her eyes. “Because I felt sorry for you. Your job went up in flames and a lot of people died.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why?” Adam looked hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose turned around, the Doctor was there, watching with a dark look on his face, her apple in his hand. She heard Adam’s breath hitch behind her and ran out of the galley. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard all of that?” She asked. He nodded. “Why didn’t you say anything before?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave her a cheeky smile. “I wanted to hear what you would say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose rolled her eyes. He handed her the apple she was eating. She looked down at the fruit before taking it over to the bin in the corner. It had rolled onto the floor, there was no way Rose was going to continue to eat it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you just wanted to ignore what happened earlier. Would be easier on you,” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it would.” He stood there, his hands behind his back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose sighed. “Are you just going to stand there in silence? Or are you going to say something?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor walked over to Rose, only an arm’s length between them. He looked down at her with a tragic look on his face. “It’s dangerous to love me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” she replied. “I meant what I said. You mean everything to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took her hands. “I don’t do this, Rose. I don’t date, I don’t dance, I haven’t loved in so long.” His eyes were filled with sorrow. They were deep pools that Rose wasn’t sure she ever wanted to escape from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want a regular relationship, I don’t need dates, I just need you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not what you think I am, Rose. I’m not a good man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose pressed her hands to his face, bringing him down to her level. “I don’t need a good man. Please, just let me love you.” A tear slipped down his face, Rose wiped it away with her thumb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose,” he rasped out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor please.” She kissed his forehead. His gaze didn’t change and Rose sighed, releasing the Doctor from her grip. She took small steps away from him, leaving the Doctor in the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the Doctor hadn’t changed his position. She went down to her room and laid in bed until she went back to sleep, this time without any dreams.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Rose sat on the jumpseat thinking about Adam. She felt bad about letting him come on Satellite Five with them, they should’ve just taken him home immediately, it would’ve saved them a lot of trouble. She rested her head in her hands, like a dog when they were upset. The Doctor said he only took the best and that he had Rose, but she had let him down. She sighed and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. A finger tapped on her shoulder. She turned around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes were wide and frantic. “Oh, Rose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry!” She said. “We should’ve just dropped him home this morning, then none of this would’ve ever happened.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “Rose,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m such a coward, I could’ve lost you.” Rose could hear him barely keeping it together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you didn’t.” She tried to comfort him, wriggling her arms out of the tight embrace to make the hug more equal. The Doctor pulled back slightly, looking down at Rose. His eyes were so filled with emotion Rose didn’t know how to respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the kiss happened, it wasn’t like she expected at all. She always expected him to be desperate and a little rough, but he was gentle. He was kissing her like he was cherishing her, something she hadn’t felt in a long time, she liked that. After the day that she had, she needed gentle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, it became too much and Rose broke away. She smiled up at him before he could get confused and she pressed her head in the center of his chest, between his hearts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m never going to.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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